Such a beautiful thing.
Something so beautiful, that if lost, can be heart shattering.
I've always been one to wear my heart on my sleeve. To love too hard & to give too much. I was raised to fight for what I love. To never give up + to pick myself up when the tough times get me down.
Many might think those are wonderful traits to possess, and in all honesty, they are. But they can easily translate to some of the worst. For at times, my loving too hard can scare people off, giving my absolute all can result in being taken advantage of, and fighting for something I love can sometimes remind me that, as hard as it may be, I should only be fighting for others that are willing to fight for me.
To find someone you can see yourself spending the rest of your life with, is such a beautiful thing.
Something so beautiful, that if lost, can be heart shattering.
My current state of mind is foggy. I'm not sure what I feel other than the overwhelming heartbreak. My brain is focused on so many things, while my heart is focused on one single thing. Him.
After the ugly break up I endured with my son's father, I couldn't see myself going through that kind of emotional trauma again. I didn't think feeling that alone was possible a second time around. Yet here I am, crying into my pillow, feeling that same heart break I felt two years ago... 10x stronger. 10x harder. 10x worse.
Our hearts are such incredibly strong organs. They keep us all alive-- yet break us all down to what feels like a million pieces, in life changing times like these.
Let it be known, that my heart's current condition is far from pretty. That I'm not sure it could heal from a blow like this.
...that I'm not sure it'll ever be strong enough, to open up to someone again.
Let it be known, that aside from my aching heart + frazzled mind, I will continue to fight. But this time, that fight will no longer be for him, that fight will be for me.
Because I deserve to be fought for.
Love.
Such a beautiful thing.
Something so beautiful, that if lost, can be heart shattering.
So sorry love. You really can't catch a break lately. But your son is your reminder that it'll all be okay, cause you already have the best thing of all. He will be the best medicine for your heart.
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