Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Diabetic "sick" days :: pros + cons

Being that I've only been a type 1 diabetic for one week now, I'm no where near knowing all there is to know about the disease. I feel as if I'm back in school, without being back in school. I have a binder filled with diabetic study guides, notebooks + folders in every corner of my house & super cute colored gel pens to log all of my sugar count info with. Hey, I'm a girl with certain things (gel pens being one of them.)

I'm learning and learning and learning some more. My poor brain has been filled with so much information over the past week I could cry. And I do. Thankfully, my family understands that there will be days that I'm happy + feel okay, and there'll be days where I'm not so happy (okay, extremely upset) + cry for hours on end. It's hard.. All of this is hard, and exhausting to say the least. Not only for myself, but for my family, that wishes so deeply they could "fix" me and take me out of this dark place I'm in. 

Like everything else, diabetes has it's pros and it's cons. You might be thinking, "this girl is crazy, what pros could there possibly be to having an uncurable chronic illness?" And I know I sound crazy, but it's true. 

1. I get priority when I go out to a restaurant. I simply let my waiter know I'm a diabetic + need a meal quicky & they will always figure out a way to make it happen.
2. If I don't feel well, I don't need to explain why. I can blurt the word diabetes and people will take it for what it is, no questions asked. 
3. If my blood sugar drops incredibly low (below 70) I can stuff my face with delicious sweets to bring it back up to the norm // no guilt whatsoever 
4. I'm basically forced to eat healthier + treat my body the way it should be treated (diabetic or not) 
5. I can turn this unfortunate diagnosis into something positive. Not sure what that positive is yet, but in due time I will. 

1. This disease has no cure. I will have to deal with constant finger pricks + insulin shots for the remainder of my life.
2. Some days, for lack of better words, I feel like absolute shit. Diabetes has a way of taking a toll on someone's body + sometimes, something as simple as getting out of bed in the morning seems nearly impossible. 
3. Being a mother, I live with constant fear that my son will be diagnosed in the future. As this disease is genetic, my child/and or future children will have a 50% chance of becoming a diabetic as well.
4. My vision isn't half as clear as it was before developing diabetes. 
5. Being looked at differently, by my family in particular. Rather than being seen as myself, I feel as if I'm being seen as a diabetic, first. Something I'll have to get used to.

There's so many more pros + cons to having this illness, but as for now, these are the top 10 I have noticed most since being diagnosed. 

Today was a good day. Waking up this morning was easy compared to the past few days. I enjoyed a "normal" lunch with a fellow diabetic. We shared our stories, type 1 tips, etc. His name is Conner (18) & is such an inspiration to me. So strong, and so positive. Something I hope to be as time progresses. I know this will all take time to adapt to. I know this journey will have it's ups and downs. & I know it'll get easier, it's just a matter of when. 

From here on out, my blog posts might shift a bit. A little less fashion related posts & a little more personal posts about myself and this new world I've been thrown into. I hope you all don't mind too much. Please comment below, letting me know if you have any questions/and or suggestions for future blog posts. Thank you for visiting the RadAndRebellious // xo

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