Friday, February 28, 2014

Jeans n' things- meet @curlyqscounter

Im overjoyed to finally get to share with all of you what I've been working on for the past couple weeks- my very first giveaway here on Rad&Rebellious! The giveaway will go live on March 1st at 10am EST where I will be explaining the requirements, rules & of course, the amazing prize up for grabs. Before all of the fun starts I would love to introduce you to the lovely lady making this giveaway possible- INSTAGRAM: @curlyqscounter 

+ Below is a little background intro written by @curlyqscounter herself. 

"I've loved fashion since I was old enough to dress myself. I had always dreamed of doing something with it, but never knew how it was possible. I was very driven after graduating high school, and knew I also wanted to make a difference in others lives. I set out to be in the healthcare profession upon graduating with my four year degree. After school, I got married and started pursing my next degree in the clinical research field for my Masters of Science.

After having my son in January 2013, I realized I wanted to take a step back from the healthcare world and pursue my ultimate passion: my family. I wanted to still be able to spend ample amounts of time with my son and not leave him for work every morning, but still be able to contribute to my family's finances. I picked up my tools and set out to create items from my home office; Items I would want to dress my son in. I really wanted to design fun, unique apparel for little boys and girls. Being a total girlie girl myself, it was second nature to be inspired to develop fun items for little girls, however, I really wanted my designs to stand out and have different options for mom's who had little dudes.

My shop ships internationally, and my products are now being sold in boutiques across the world. My store was also recently chosen to work with Freshly Picked and provide items to pair with their new moccs for the spring 2014 season! It's been a huge honor and such a dream come true!

I have expanded my shop to feature items for all ages and genders, even up to adults. I love designing and creating one of kind items. No two items in my shop are exactly alike. I take exceptional pride in all of my products and guarantee their quality. If you have a vision for a party, special occasion, etc., please do not hesitate to contact me! I would love to make it come to life for you! :)"

Ang Disney
Owner & Designer // Curly Q's Counter
Instagram: @curlyqscounter

I'm thrilled to get the ball rolling on this amazing giveaway & I look forward to the many giveaways to come in the future, here on the Rad&Rebellious.

Stay tuned for giveaway details + requirements.

Thanks for visiting! Xo

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Leggings VS. Jeans

Leggings- The hottest trend for babes around the world. I personally have grown to love leggings, of all prints, shapes & styles. You may be wondering, "shapes?" And I'll explain a little more into that in a bit. 

My love for leggings sprouted a few months back. Being the mother to a baby boy made it difficult to explain to people in my everyday life WHY I felt leggings were a must-have staple piece in Jonah's wardrobe. They just didn't understand & to be frank- I just didn't care. My outlook on baby boys/toddlers in leggings is quite simple. They're comfortable, they're trendy and they're extremely versatile. Need I say more? 

Close minded people tend to put stereotypes on clothing. Pink is for girls, blue is for boys. Leggings are for girls, jeans are for boys. It's sickening to me that some parents are raising their children in a stereotypical world. 

I will forever raise Jonah to be free, in every which way possible; clothing and all. If he wants to wear pink- wonderful. If he wants to wear leggings- great. If he wants to play with a Barbie doll one day & a monster truck the next- awesome. He will be free to make his own decisions with no gender specific restrictions. This is my opinion. I'd love to hear yours!

+ Below I will post a few photos on Jonah's updated legging collection & explain a bit about the different shapes of leggings that are available for purchase. I will also list where each pair of leggings were purchased. I hope you all find this post helpful or eye opening in some way. Thanks for visiting- xo

The "relaxed" style legging- When it comes to style of leggings these are (IMO) the most durable, long lasting + "boy friendly" of them all. Coming in many different colors + prints, these leggings are thicker than most & fit similar to your average sweatpant. 

+ Every legging pictured above can be purchased from Zara Baby
+ COST varies between $15-$18+ each pair (shipping not included)

The "gusset" style legging- wider at the crotch and straight in the leg (with extra wiggle room in the bottom area). I found this shape of legging to be the best fit for Jonah, as he has chunky legs and a plump baby booty. 

+ Every legging pictured above can be purchased from
or through Instagram via @shop_haute
+ COST varies between $12-$16+(shipping not included)

The "traditional" style legging- straight and narrow (tighter, slim fit). Even the chunkiest legged babies have been seen rocking this legging shape (mine included). A definite must have in your tot's wardrobe. 

+ Left legging pictured was purchased from a second hand Instagram shop- unknown
+ Middle legging pictured can be purchased from or through Instagram via @deeriehandmade 
+ Right legging pictured can be purchased from
+ COST varies from $12-$25+ (not including shipping) 

Pictured above is Jonah's "traditional" legging collection to date. I will try to do updates on any and all leggings he receives & share where they can be purchased from. If you have any questions at all, feel free to ask them via email: @ 

+ I hope you all are having a beautiful week so far- now go splurge on a pair of leggings for your babe! 

Monday, February 24, 2014

Oh, how I miss that girl

It's ridiculous actually, how many times I question who I am. I have days where I find myself sitting in my room, tv off, door shut, blinds closed.. just thinking. Thinking about the person I used to be & the person I'm gradually becoming. Sometimes for hours on end. Becoming a mother changes a woman. It changes EVERYTHING. I'm not going to pretend like it's all peachy keen because well, it just isn't. Have I grown up & matured? Yes. & that's a positive- but have I lost myself through this journey of becoming the mother I am today? Yes. & that's a negative. There is absolutely nothing wrong with loving your child & doing everything and anything you can to put a smile on their face- that's what a mother should do, but some women (like myself) take it to the extreme, and before we know it, we've completely submerged ourselves into "motherhood" - not realizing that, that can (and will) tear us down. one. day. at. a. time. I say this from experience. Juggling motherhood, friendships, work & family is difficult for me- am I the only one that has a hard time with it? With all of that on my plate "fun" just somehow always gets the short end of the stick. 

Jonah is two years old & in his short two years of life I have changed in ways I can't even begin to describe. I used to be so wild, rebellious, spontaneous, & free-spirited. I was just.. fun. I was off the wall & quirky- always making people laugh & living in the moment. 

Oh, how I miss that girl. 

People that have known me for years tell me time & time again to "loosen up" "chill out" "relax" & as much as I want to, I find myself having such a hard time actually doing it. I'm not that carefree person I used to be. I am a mother. I don't act on impulse anymore, I don't take risks. I don't rebel against the rules. I am the only mother my son will EVER have in this lifetime. Being "fun" is sadly the least of my worries. 

 & it shouldn't be. 

This post is all over the place & quite frankly, makes no sense at all, this I know. But this is my outlet & I'm typing out every emotion & feeling I'm feeling, at this very moment. I feel as if I need to take a deep breath & close my eyes. Light my favorite candle & think. Think of the person I used to be & the person I am now. But most importantly, think of the person I want to be 5 months from now, 5 years from now. I need to find a balance. I need to cater to myself before catering to others. 

I refuse to lose myself anymore than I already have. I love my son- but I love myself too.. or at least I'm trying to. I will not give up on myself- this I promise.

"I have found my balance; I'm not losing myself in motherhood, I am redefining myself. I may not be exactly who I used to be, but that's okay. I have grown and become a better version of myself." 

Sunday, February 23, 2014

"Whoa, he's a big one!"

Taking the time to type out a detailed blog on my labor & delivery story has always intimidated me because.. well, you'll see. I know I'm not the only mother that feels an overflow of emotions when it comes down to the day we brought our child(ren) into this crazy world. I've always avoided digging deep into my pregnancy + labor story for the simple fact that as incrediblely life changing and beautiful as it was, there were just as many heartbreaking, ugly moments as well. No pregnancy is perfect- but this I'm sure you know. From raging hormones to relationship problems and everything in between, carrying a child for 9+ months is one hell of a ride (to say the least.) On this blog I plan on being brutally honest with all of you- honesty is the key to any relationship, including the relationship I plan on forming with all of you who choose to follow my journey. Now, where do I begin? 

Starting off by introducing Jonah's father makes the most sense, right? If you follow me on Instagram (@jollywithjonah) you know I don't post anything relating to him whatsoever- for my own personal reasons. I choose to keep certain things private from the online world- the relationship (or lack there of) with my son's father being one of them. His name is Christian, & he's 21 years old, making him a little less than 2 years younger than me. As much as I'd love to tell you a super romantic story of how we crossed paths and fell in love, I just can't because well, Facebook played the role of matchmaker in our case. Silly, I know. 

I was 19 when I met him & we had one whirlwind of a relationship. Everything happened so fast- but in no way was I complaining. The day we finally met in person we instantly clicked. I thought he was the sweetest, most respectful guy I had ever met, easy on the eyes too. That's always an added bonus- right girls? 

I was just... happy. Genuinely happy. I went with the flow when it came to our relationship, no questioning anything, just simply living in the moment & oh was it the time of our lives. We had fun- maybe a little too much at times, but why the heck shouldn't we have? Two months into being "in love" I decided to end things for reasons unknown to this day. I have always been the type of girl to get over things quickly, even if for no particular reason. I was always searching for that "something better" & to be honest, I didn't care who was hurt by my emotionless actions along the way. I thought of myself & myself only. Selfish, I know- but it was my life & I was destined to live it the way I wanted to. That was the only me I knew, the only life I knew. After breaking up we kept in touch & hung out from time to time, completely severing all ties just didn't feel right. & as I look back now, I see there was a reason behind it all. That reason had a name. It's name was Jonah

Making that phone call to Christian was the scariest thing I had ever done in my life. When he answered the phone it seemed as if he already knew what I was about to say. "I'm pregnant, Christian." I said. "Tell me what you want to do and I'll be here, always. No matter what." He said. Sobbing uncontrolably in the planned parenthood parking lot with my sister trying her hardest to console me was just all too much to take in at once. Abortion was never an option- not even for one second. I knew I was going to be a mother in a matter of months- WHAT. I couldn't wrap my head around it. I was so young. So careless. So free. I had my sister drive me home- locking myself in my blacked out room to scream & cry for a day or two sounded comforting to me. So I did it, got it out of my system & began to prepare myself for an entirely new life.. and the new life I was about to bring into my crazy world. 

This photo was taken 10 days before my due date [October 6, 2011]. I was miserable, uncomfortable, and impatiently awaiting the arrival of our son. My pregnancy took a huge toll on me. I was rarely ever happy, and enjoying my pregnancy just seemed so impossible. For as long as I could remember, body image had always been my biggest issue. Gaining a pound, loosing 10, gaining 5, losing 2. My life was a constant up and down battle with my weight & I could never find myself being satisfied. I eventually got over the body issues (slowly but surely) & learned to love the beautiful blessing I was given in being able to create a human being. I mean, just say that once (or twice) out loud, "I created a human being." How amazing is that?! Aside from my personal issues, I had a healthy pregnancy. Always measuring exactly by the book and never having any additional problems or bumps in the road. It was.. Easy, for the most part. 

My due date came & went. I called my doctor a handful of times before receiving the call I was longing to get. "Come in at 8am October 18th. You're going to be induced." As much as I was hoping and praying for an all natural birth, I was in so much pain & induction seemed to be my only chance of going into labor. I was ready, we all were. Pitocin was injected into my iv & the waiting game began.. My gosh, hadn't I waited long enough? I was a very unhappy camper- you should feel lucky you weren't stuck in that cold hospital room with me. 19 hours into this so called waiting game Jonah was still comfier than ever in my belly he called home. The doc finally decided to manually pop my water bag- talk about uncomfortable. But boy, was I ready to see some progress & that's exactly what I got. Almost immediately after having my water popped I began feeling intense contractions, and what I mean by intense is excruciating. They came full force and they weren't going to stop until Jonah was out. Unfortunately the doctor finally realized that he was positioned "sunny side up" meaning: he was head down, faced up. Making it nearly impossible to get through my pelvic bone. Why me? After being forced to push for nearly 4 hours in every position known to man, my family finally convinced my doctor to perform a c-section. My sister burst into tears, scared for my well being- heck, everybody did. Daddy included. I'm pretty sure I was the only one being wheeled off with a huge grin on my face, thankful it was all about to be over soon. 1 hour later & a total of 25 hours in labor, Jonah Rylin Gil was born. The doctor raised him into the air & blurted out, "whoa, he's a big one!" Daddy rushed to see Jonah when neither him or I heard a peep come out of him. Minutes went by & still... Nothing. As drugged as I was, I couldn't find the words nor strength to say anything, or to ask any questions. But I had never been more scared or worried in my life. I don't have one single picture of my son and I on the operating table due to him being rushed to the NICU so quickly. 

This was the very first photo I saw of my son. I couldn't believe my eyes. He was so beautiful but he was such a big boy- now I know what the doctor meant. I asked Jonah's dad how much he weighed and he just smiled and said, "10lbs 6oz Vanessa, you are amazing!" The entire hospital was at a loss for words- could you imagine how I felt? How did my petite little body bring an almost 11 lb baby boy into this world? I felt like superwoman. 

How could this be? & why was he rushed to the NICU? I blame the doctor to this day. If he would've paid more attention to the distress my poor son & myself were going through during those 4 hours of pushing with my fever of 103 & his heart rate fluctuating, he wouldn't be sick in the NICU. He wouldn't have a blood virus, he wouldn't have fluid in his lungs, he wouldn't have extreme jaundice, & he sure as hell wouldn't have IV needles in his tiny little arms all at the age of 10 minutes old. I was angry- the mother in me was born on that operating table the second my son was. Spinal taps, endless visits to the hospital, tears, and a shit ton of prayers later... Jonah Rylin Gil was released from Presbyterian Hospital & my life had officially begun. Whatever I thought was living before, was nothing to the life I was getting to live now. 

The love you feel for your child is so incredible & down right scary at times. I have never loved so hard, hurt so deeply or worried so much EVER before. It's a beautiful thing, it truly is. I am everything to this little boy, and he is my reason for everything I do. I have a purpose in life. Do you? 

This will forever be my favorite photo of Jonah and his father. It makes me smile & turns my heart into a mushy gushy puddle at my feet. No matter what life throws at us we will always be parents to Jonah. No matter was obstacles we may have to go through, we will always give 110% to him. We may not be together, and we may not get along all the time, we argue & disagree. We are HUMAN. I don't know what the future holds for us or our family- but what I DO know is that Jonah has two parents that will go above and beyond for him. We are his world & he is our little boy. This journey has taught us both so many things- we learn how to be better parents every single damn day & it's only just begun. I look forward to the life we'll get to experience with our warrior & the beauty we're yet to see. The good, the bad & the ugly. I welcome it all with open arms. 

Thank you for visiting- xo

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Oh, the two-nage years

Talk about mellow dramatics. Good lord, today has been, well.. exhausting (like every other day) when you're a mother. I honestly can't wrap my head around the fact that in what feels like a blink of an eye, my cuddly, sweet, obedient (sometimes drooly) baby boy has transformed into a rugged, stubborn, attitude filled TWO-NAGER. Yeah, I said it. I'm raising a teenager trapped in a two year old toddler bod. It's crazy- I sit back and watch his attitude towards me & everything around him change from one second to the next. Sometimes I want to laugh & other times I wanna hide in the bathroom & scream.. loud. Does that really help like people say it does? I'm not quite sure, but I need to find out. 

Aside from the fact that I'm slightly overwhelmed with motherhood lately, I'm also a little (or a lot) overwhelmed with the well being of my poor jaw. Yes you read that right, my jaw. I've been suffering from TMJ for 2+ years now for a reason that's still unknown. If you've ever dealt with TMJ- I'm sorry. & if you haven't- you're extremely lucky, never take opening your mouth for granted ever again. Not being able to open my mouth more than a centimeter wide is not only extremely painful, but extremely annoying, not to mention embarrassing. You don't even wanna see how I get a burger down these days- scary. Moral of this dragged out story is that I'm a ball of STRESS. Today was my second oral facial pain appointment & thankfully I am being well taken care of by one of the top dentists/surgeons at UCLA medical center *thank you baby Jesus for awesome insurance* Sadly, no matter how wonderful or high ranked a dentist is, the pain of cortisone + steroid injections stays the same. EXCRUICIATING. Every time I walk into that cold, bone chilling office I have to give myself a pep talk, "What are you so scared of? A needle? Vanessa, remember that time you got sliced open & gave birth to a 10lb human being? Make that needle your B!&@$" & just like that I'm ready to go- but gosh does it hurt. 

This picture pretty much sums up what I'm feeling now, and every second of every day. Sleep sounds good- but I most likely won't get any considering my throbbing jaw & tude-alicious teen.. I mean tot. He's boycotting sleep & I'm being forced against my will to watch Toy Story for the 7899202th time this week, jealous? Please go to sleep Jonah, mama misses crappy reality tv more than she should. If you took the time to read this scramble of jibberish nonsense- you rock! Thanks for visiting xo

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Let's get this show on the road

SoI'm not going to sit here and pretend like I'm gonna be an awesome blogger, I'm not even going to pretend like I'm gonna stick with it & post updates religiously (although that's the goal.) Blogging has always been an interest of mine but let's be honest here, I have little to zero down time to make myself a half way decent lunch these days, let alone blog. But I will try, that I CAN promise. This post will be a drag- just sayin'. For those of you (most of you) who don't know me too well on a personal level you might actually enjoy this, as it's going to be a summarized run through of my life (pregnancy-present time). I'll stop blabbering now & get this show on the road! 

This is one of my favorite photos from my pregnancy, it might actually be the ONLY photo I truly like from my pregnancy. I was about 32 weeks & impatiently anticipating the arrival of my sweet Jonah. I remember this day like it was yesterday- crazy how that's even possible, isn't it? It was a gorgeous sunny day & Jonah's daddy & I decided to spontaneously take a trip to our favorite park to get out of the house. We took a few photos for fun, some of which ended up being on my baby shower invites- this being one of them. It was a wonderful time in my pregnancy. A time I truly wish I could snap my fingers and relive once more. 

Jonah Rylin Gil was a stubborn little man from the get go! 1 week over due & flipped sunny side up in mommy's enormous pregnant tummy. I was induced on October 19, 2011 & after 25 excruciating hours of labor, I gave birth to a wopping 10lb 6oz hunk of love on October 20, 2011 via c-section. My labor & delivery story is a novel in itself, so I'll spare you the grousome details for now & post a seperate blog post on it another time... thank me later. All in all, I was officially a mother, just like that. It all seemed so surreal & as silly as it sounds- it sometimes still does. Moving on..

This is me now. A newly turned 23 year old single mother, addicted to coffee, netflix & baby boy fashion. I may or may not also be infatuated with Miley Cyrus- oops. I work at Coach, meaning I get to sell pretty little hand bags all day & get paid for it. Is this real life? Somebody pinch me. I reside in LA, California. Although it's a lot funner to still say I live in Whittier where the girls are prettier, welp. I'd like to give you a long list of super rad hobbies I have and tell you all the fun things I do on my spare time but I'm gonna be reeeeeal real with y'all, I'm a homebody- yep, I said it. I would rather stay home and gulp down 5 cups of delicious caffeinated substances while finishing an entire season of vampire diaries, than to go out and "paint the town red" Am I the only one that's been hearing that saying a ton lately? I'm a big ball of fun though, let's not get cray now. Enough about me..

I'd like you all to meet my handsome babe, Jonah Rylin. A wild, hard-headed, loving little clutz of a toddler. He is far too similar to his mama, it's a tad bit scary. He just turned two this past October & if any of you mamas are wondering whether or not the "terrible twos" is a real thing or not, let me just clear it up for y'all- IT IS. Every kiddie has bad days though, no matter the age. Anywho, Jonah loves moccasins, maybe even a little more than me (and that's a LOT). He has a thing for woody & buzz, heck, he's just flat out obsessed with Toy Story. Don't ask me how many times I've watched the movie.. I might just cry. Aside from being a total cutie & keeping this mama on her toes day in & day out, little man just got picked up by two awesome clothing companies:  ChickyPop Shop + Dear Cub. Being style ambassadors for such awesome small businesses is a joy! My little model boy, I am so proud. 

OK- so this is totally random & off topic but... if you have a Disney pass we should probably be friends. Just throwing that out there. Holla atcha' girl 

So remember when I said I don't really have hobbies? Well, I lied. Baby/toddler boy fashion is my hobby. Spending absurd amounts of money on clothes is totally a hobby, right? Don't answer that. I spend my spare time putting together outfits in my head- sickening I know. But it's what I love & I would much rather spend every waking minute (and penny) on something that benefits my babe rather than something that benefits, well, nothing. Although it would be nice to take something on for myself... maybe. 

I'm a firm believer in karma, good and bad. So with that being said just SPREAD GOOD VIBES. Tee// @geofoxapparel 

I'm feeling as if I've blabbed my mouth so much I've scared you all off before the real fun starts- whoops. I can only hope that you've learned something about me & can see yourself connecting with me on a more personal level. There's so much more to myself and Jonah than a pretty face and awesome outfit or two (on Instagram). I promise my next blog posts won't be as dragged out & long as this one was, I just figured introducing ourselves should come first- phew, glad that's over with. SO- if you like quirky, outspoken, sometimes funny mamas & babes with rad style you're in the right spot! I hope you all enjoyed this lengthy introduction post, thanks for reading. Xo